Celine's Little Heaven

Happy 4th Birthday - Yong Ye

2009-10-31T22:03:00.007+08:00

Didi turns 4 today!!

Gave him his burthday gift this morning, a "Hulk" armour truck!!

Happy birthday sweetie!! Love you much.

Updates

2009-10-14T17:14:00.007+08:00

Ok, my life is boring...... that explains why there hasn't been much updates recently. Nothing exciting is happening and nothing to look forward to either. Of course there's the occasional hiccup at home or at work, but nothing's spinning out of control yet.

Been busy with the maids upcoming work permit renewal and home leave in January. I am so going to declare myself bankrupt. Renewed her passport $85, work permit renewal plus all the insurance and guarantee $280, employment contract for home leave $350 and air tickets $300. She go back once I gotta spend almost a thousand bucks. Not complaining cos she's a great help to us, just that must it cost so much???!!

Planned a trip with hubby and friends to somewhere near but nice!! Finally something to look forward to. Been awhile since we went somewhere for R&R and will also be the first time Lena and me travelling together to somewhere without a casino!!

Am watching "Criminal Minds" now and the show is awesome!! And it is so true that there are so many people with twisted minds out there. Not to mention that Gossip Girl season 3 is showing now and also Desperate Housewives season 6 too! Busy busy busy....

And I wanna watch this show.........

Durian Pengat

2009-09-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

Finally went to try the dessert stall which was featured in 抢摊大行动2 at Commonwealth.

Hubby queued for about 20mins for it and it was quite worth it.

Tasted pretty good with ice and gula meleka. But would I go back all the way again? Probably not, just too far for me and the waiting time needed just for dessert is to long.

My First Time

2009-09-27T12:42:00.003+08:00

Finally after thinking about it for years, I did it today!!! I went to donate my blood this morning!!!

Sticker to indicate to the volunteers that this is my first time so that they can take care of me better!!

Pink bandage makes it all pretty and cheerful.

Thank you cards with date stamp to remindme of the next date I can donate again.

The whole "donating" process was really quick and no pain at all. Felt great after and really happy I did it. Definitely going back again as a regular donor. And I also signed up for the "Bone Marrow Donor Programme" where I will only be called upon if there is a match.

Communication

2009-09-17T08:41:00.003+08:00

I think communication, the frequency and quality of it, is the most important factor in making a relationship work. Communicating your needs, fears, hopes, happiness and everything else.

The problem is not when you have problems communicating. It's when you don't even feel like communicating at all already, that's the problem. Really, that's when silence makes everyone's life a little less dark.

I don't need to be a gem to someone, I just don't wanna be dirt.

Struggles

2009-09-13T22:20:00.004+08:00

Someone once told me that a good marriage is like the little ducks over there. Looks completely calm and unruffled, but underneath the water, they're paddling furiously to stay afloat.

I so seriously agree.

Star Blogger??!!

2009-09-01T12:01:00.004+08:00

Was approached to contribute a post for blogtv. Check this out, my 2 minutes of fame!!

Link to the post, click HERE

DIY #14

2009-08-27T22:30:00.001+08:00

This is soooo pretty. Who wants to sponsor me to take the course?? I wanna open my own nail parlour!!!

Priority. Option.

2009-08-23T22:16:00.000+08:00

Saw Fang's MSN message last week and it felt so true.

"Don't let someone be a priority in your life when you are just an option in their life"

He was my priority and I was just an option. Note, it's past tense. Now, I am not even sure if we are both even an option in each other's life.

I am just so tired of always having to make things work. Change how I think, how I feel, what I do, how I talk and almost everything else. Why I am always the one having to make changes? Why am I always the one to have to give in? Why am I always the one having to voice out?

To be fair to me, I have been doing all the above. What have I got in return? NOTHING!!!

So really, I don't care anymore. Call me weak for no longer trying. Call me selfish for thinking of only myself. Call me sensitive. Call me whatever you want. All of you can judge me all you want. I DON'T CARE.

I will continue to fulfil my duties as a mother. But don't expect anything more than that from me. I have nothing else to give. I have already given all that I have and can for the past 13 years.

I just don't want to shed anymore tears. I just wanna be happy. Why is it so difficult?

You can continue to be unhappy for the rest of your life but please just hide and sink in self pity yourself. I don't want to be part of it.

Parenthood

2009-08-12T22:05:00.003+08:00

Being a parent is easy. Being a good parent who needs to love and discipline our kids is difficult. And quitting is not an option.

The love we have for our children is so great that it hurts. You want to guide them onto the right track but yet not chase them away. You want to hold them tight but yet have room for them to grow and learn. You want to give them all the love you have but they start taking it for granted.

I miss the obedient and sweet girl I used to know. We all love you so much but you need to love yourself too. I want to believe that this is just a phase and it will pass soon enough. If this is a test of my patience and love for you, then be it.

I know this sounds really cheesy, but whatever we do is for your own good. You may not realise this and hate us now but all I hope is that one day you will understand our intentions.

We love you. Please come back to us.

Wasted Space

2009-08-01T10:36:00.003+08:00

Reason why I don't need such a big sofa. Because.......

Me The Minority

2009-07-28T20:30:00.000+08:00

How do you suddenly feel that our country is filled with non-Singaporeans?

I was at Woodlands MRT on Saturday afternoon queueing up at the counter to top-up my ez-link card. Not those auto machine type of counter but the manual kind. So anyway, I was in the queue and the 2 persons infront of me and behind me was talking away loudly on their phones. That made me look closer and I noticed that all 3 infront of me and another 2 behind be were all talking away either with their friend/partner/spouse/phone. From their language and accent, I knew that they were all from the same country which produces almost everything fake.

I was the ONLY true bred Singaporean in the queue of a total of 6 people. I felt.....uncomfortable. Kind of like being in a foreign land and trying to take the subway. Weird.

Dancing Legs

2009-07-27T18:45:00.000+08:00

Was having lunch with my kids at home on Sunday when I saw my little boy shaking his legs which was hanging from the dining chair.

"Don't shake your legs" I told him.

He replied me, "No, I not shaking my legs. My legs dancing."

As if that wasn't a smart enough reply, he followed on by asking me "Your legs dunno how to dance aarrhh??"

I was stumped for words. Here is a 3yrs and 9 months old boy talking to me about dancing legs.

手放开

2009-07-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

我把自己关起来只留下一个阳台
每当天黑推开窗我对着夜幕发呆
看着往事一幕一幕
再次演出你我的爱

我把电视机打开听着别人的对白
也许那些故事可以给我一个交代
你要的爱我学不来
眼睁睁看情变坏人怔怔看情感概

不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪流下来伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白

我给你最后的疼爱是手放开
不要一张双人床中间隔着一片海
感情的污点就留给时间慢慢漂白
把爱收进胸前左边口袋

最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪
感情就像候车月台有人走有人来
我的心是一个站牌写着等待

最后的疼爱是手放开
我把收音机打开听着别人的失败
啃咽的声音仿佛诉说着相同悲哀
你的依赖还在胸怀
我无法轻易推开我无法随便走开
感情中专心的人容易被伤害

So meaningful..... to me at least.

Me So Handsome But Naughty

2009-07-20T20:44:00.002+08:00

Yong Ye came out of his bath this evening and ran to me saying "Mummy, I bathe already. See I so handsome!!" while pointing to his just combed wet hair.

5 minutes later, he refused to talk to me. He told his sister "I don't like mummy." All because I took out the potato crisps to eat and he wants to hold the whole canister to eat on his own and I refused.

Sigh. The joys of parenthood.

The Old & The New

2009-07-20T20:18:00.002+08:00

Went back to my old office today for a meeting. Felt a strong sense of nostalgia when I stepped into the premises.

I thoroughly enjoyed my stay there during the close to 5 years stint I spent there. Today, I went back there in a different role. Met old colleagues and friends. Some even came out specifically to look for me when they heard I was back. I experienced a fuzzy warm feeling.

I have not regretted leaving Ctx at all as it was necessary for me to do so in order to advance my career. But at times, I do think about how things might have been different for me if I hadn't made the move back then. I have had both good and bad experiences the past 3 years since I left and all of it helped me grow and learn.

It felt good to be able to step back into the very place which allowed me to get into this line. Was really touched that ex-colleagues genuinely felt happy to see me. I was pretty sure I did well during my stay there professionally and definitely was friends with everyone there. I feel so comforted.

Sigh. My life is so fucked all because of that bitch. I hate her.

Ignored

2009-07-18T23:34:00.003+08:00

I am so used to being ignored that I am starting to doubt if I even exist.

No, I am not being emo and stop telling me that I am letting my thoughts run wild or being to sensitive. I am so tired of all the many reasons, excuses or whatevers. I should just convince myself that I am simply transparent and that would definitely make alot more sense.

So be it.

New Love

2009-07-16T22:14:00.002+08:00

His name is Chuck. I love him!!!!

If you have no idea what am I talking about, go watch Gossip Girl. It just further confirms that I like bad boys. Duh.

My Channel 5 Boy

2009-07-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

My boy is a channel 5 kid. His primary language is English and so far can only say the following in Mandarin:

1) Daddy/Jie Jie/Aunty/Mummy 在哪里？
2) 晚安
3) 救命啊！！！

A grand total of 3 phrases. We need to do something. Fast.

Power Of Love

2009-07-08T07:15:00.000+08:00

Watched "Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past" last evening, complimentary tickets!! There was a phrase which made me think a little....... "Power in a relationship lies with the one who care less."

But, the one who care less is not necessarily the one that is happier.

I think it all boils down to fear. Fear of getting hurt, fear of giving too much and not getting anything in return, fear of disappointment and of course fear of betrayal. But fear, just like jealousy, makes people do silly stuff.

To protect ourselves, we refuse to show our true feelings and build a protective shield against others. Or sometimes to protect ourselves, we choose to attack the other party first. But what would make us drop these defences and finally learn to let go and love with our whole heart and soul without any fears?

If we do not have any reason to fear, then there is no reason to protect ourselves. But for us to not fear, the other party needs to make us believe that there is no reason to. The big question is, which party is able to let go of his/her defences first to make it work?

"No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry."

I Want To Break Free

2009-06-28T17:37:00.003+08:00

I want to get out of this. Month after month also the same. Tired. When will things change? When??

I feel so alone sometimes. Sigh. Me swimming in shit all alone.

Someone please take me away from this. Help me break free. I want and need to be free.

Balut Egg

2009-06-28T17:09:00.003+08:00

My maid got her friend to buy balut eggs back from the Philippines.

Hubby didn't even want to look at it in case he is put off by eggs forever!!! I tried it and the taste isn't that bad. Just the thought of eating a nearly developed embryo is the scary part.

Burp.

Why The Pounds Keep Piling On - Part 2

2009-06-24T08:49:00.002+08:00

I asked hubby to buy breakfast for me last week and requested for fried bee hoon plus fillet and taiwan sausage. He came back with fried bee hoon plus fillet, taiwan sausage AND LUNCHEON MEAT.

This morning I got smarter. I requested for fried bee hoon plus fillet only. He came back with fried bee hoon, filet AND TAIWAN SAUSAGE. See, I am getting good at this.

Now I know why I never seem to lose weight. I suspect it's his plan to keep it this way.

Back Breaking

2009-06-21T21:04:00.003+08:00

I somehow managed to sprained my back and it's been killing me the last 2 days. I have no idea at all how it happened and I now cannot bend downwards or sideways cos it hurts so badly when I do so.

I honestly think it's a side effect of not playing MJ for the last 3 weeks. 3 whole weeks!!! Unbelievable.

Anyway, pain aside, it has been a good weekend.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T08:30:00.001+08:00

Hahaha..... love this ad.

Happy Father's Day.